30 Random Things About Me (by Angel)
Feb. 20th, 2009 11:59 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
girlpireso, remember a couple weeks ago when everyone on facebook was doing "25 random things about me" posts? well, my sister recently did one from the point of view of michael scott from the office, which was kinda funny, and then my cousin did one from the point of view of dwight schrute. but they did 30 things instead of 25. so i decided to do it for angel.
these are all things angel actually said either on ats or btvs - i didn't come up with any of them on my own. so it probably doesn't count as fic. but it's funny to me to think about him listing them out like they're just random things about himself. (i had to slightly edit a couple of them to fit the format, but for the most part, they're all direct quotes.) extra points to anyone who can guess which episodes they came from! (hint: number 16 came from two different episodes.)
*
30 Random Things About Me (by Angel)
*
1. There are three things I don't do: tan, date, and sing in public.
2. I'm not a eunuch. I mean, the curse isn't even all that clear.
3. I got stuck in a hell dimension by my girlfriend one time for a hundred years, so three months under the ocean actually gave me perspective. Kind of an M.C. Escher perspective.
4. It's been a long time since I opened a vein, but I'll do it if you pull any of that Van Helsing Junior crap with me.
5. The thing I like about a gym is that you're not alone. You've got people around. That encourages you to work out. You got your steam. You got your sauna. You got fresh towels.
6. The more someone pisses me off, the longer I keep them alive.
7. Elvis and Priscilla's wedding reception, 1967. It's not that I was, you know, really invited. They just put me near the dais. I think somebody thought I was in the band. Probably because I was all drunk and surly. They had these little fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches.
8. I'm not cheap; I'm just old. I remember when a few bob got you a good meal, a bottle, and a tavern wench.
9. I kinda worked it out: if there is no great glorious end to all this, if nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do. Because that's all there is. What we do now, today. And all I wanna do is help. I wanna help because I don't think people should suffer as they do. Because, if there is no bigger meaning, then the smallest act of kindness is the greatest thing in the world.
10. I do not have puppet cancer.
11. You wouldn't like me when I'm happy.
12. I have no right to pursue happiness with women. I'm not that guy. That guy is charming and funny and... emotionally useful. I'm the guy in a dark corner with the blood habit and the 200 years of psychic baggage.
13. I don't understand power walkers. I mean, walking I get, but power walking? Why not just run for a shorter time? Weird.
14. I can smell the sunrise long before it comes.
15. For a taciturn, shadowy guy, I've got a big mouth.
16. I never hated my victims. I never killed out of anger; it was always about the pain. And the pleasure. I was only in it for the evil. It was everything to me. It was art, the destruction of a human being.
17. I forgot how good food tastes when you're alive. Chocolate - I love chocolate. But not, as it turns out, yogurt.
18. I like people. In the time I've lived, I've seen some horrors - scary behavior, a couple fashion trends I constantly pray to forget - but I see people try. I see them try to be better.
19. I have a thing for convents.
20. I love it when clothes are still warm from the dryer. But "wrinkle-free"? Yeah, right, after you iron it for fifteen minutes.
21. I like it when people are scared. It makes them taste, you know, kind of salty.
22. I'm not insane, and I'm not angry. Well. Maybe I'm a little angry.
23. I've got two modes with people: bite or avoid.
24. I'm trying to atone for a hundred years of unthinkable evil, and news flash: I never can. It's never gonna be enough. Now I got an evil law firm dogging me. It's too much. Two hundred highly intelligent law school graduates working full time to drive me crazy. Why the hell is everyone so surprised that it's working? But no, it's, "Angel, why are you cranky?" "Angel, you should lighten up; you should smile. You should wear a nice plaid."
25. My parents were great. Tasted like chicken.
26. I've been possessed by the spirits of old lovers before. Never goes well.
27. If anything ever happened to Connor, I don't know what I'd do. It scares me. I used to think love could be a terrible thing; I thought it was something that swallowed you whole, ripped you up inside. But what I feel for my son, even that fear... it's not terrible. It's beautiful.
28. I can eat food. It doesn't keep me alive, but, you know, sometimes I get a hankering.
29. Certain friends and coworkers have been known to accuse me of being the quiet, stay-at-home, sulky one.
30. I started it, you know. The whole having a soul. Before it was all the cool new thing.
*
i was thinking about doing one of these for angel by coming up with random stuff on my own, but i actually kinda think this is funnier, because it's all true. :) i'd love to see one about spike now.
these are all things angel actually said either on ats or btvs - i didn't come up with any of them on my own. so it probably doesn't count as fic. but it's funny to me to think about him listing them out like they're just random things about himself. (i had to slightly edit a couple of them to fit the format, but for the most part, they're all direct quotes.) extra points to anyone who can guess which episodes they came from! (hint: number 16 came from two different episodes.)
*
30 Random Things About Me (by Angel)
*
1. There are three things I don't do: tan, date, and sing in public.
2. I'm not a eunuch. I mean, the curse isn't even all that clear.
3. I got stuck in a hell dimension by my girlfriend one time for a hundred years, so three months under the ocean actually gave me perspective. Kind of an M.C. Escher perspective.
4. It's been a long time since I opened a vein, but I'll do it if you pull any of that Van Helsing Junior crap with me.
5. The thing I like about a gym is that you're not alone. You've got people around. That encourages you to work out. You got your steam. You got your sauna. You got fresh towels.
6. The more someone pisses me off, the longer I keep them alive.
7. Elvis and Priscilla's wedding reception, 1967. It's not that I was, you know, really invited. They just put me near the dais. I think somebody thought I was in the band. Probably because I was all drunk and surly. They had these little fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches.
8. I'm not cheap; I'm just old. I remember when a few bob got you a good meal, a bottle, and a tavern wench.
9. I kinda worked it out: if there is no great glorious end to all this, if nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do. Because that's all there is. What we do now, today. And all I wanna do is help. I wanna help because I don't think people should suffer as they do. Because, if there is no bigger meaning, then the smallest act of kindness is the greatest thing in the world.
10. I do not have puppet cancer.
11. You wouldn't like me when I'm happy.
12. I have no right to pursue happiness with women. I'm not that guy. That guy is charming and funny and... emotionally useful. I'm the guy in a dark corner with the blood habit and the 200 years of psychic baggage.
13. I don't understand power walkers. I mean, walking I get, but power walking? Why not just run for a shorter time? Weird.
14. I can smell the sunrise long before it comes.
15. For a taciturn, shadowy guy, I've got a big mouth.
16. I never hated my victims. I never killed out of anger; it was always about the pain. And the pleasure. I was only in it for the evil. It was everything to me. It was art, the destruction of a human being.
17. I forgot how good food tastes when you're alive. Chocolate - I love chocolate. But not, as it turns out, yogurt.
18. I like people. In the time I've lived, I've seen some horrors - scary behavior, a couple fashion trends I constantly pray to forget - but I see people try. I see them try to be better.
19. I have a thing for convents.
20. I love it when clothes are still warm from the dryer. But "wrinkle-free"? Yeah, right, after you iron it for fifteen minutes.
21. I like it when people are scared. It makes them taste, you know, kind of salty.
22. I'm not insane, and I'm not angry. Well. Maybe I'm a little angry.
23. I've got two modes with people: bite or avoid.
24. I'm trying to atone for a hundred years of unthinkable evil, and news flash: I never can. It's never gonna be enough. Now I got an evil law firm dogging me. It's too much. Two hundred highly intelligent law school graduates working full time to drive me crazy. Why the hell is everyone so surprised that it's working? But no, it's, "Angel, why are you cranky?" "Angel, you should lighten up; you should smile. You should wear a nice plaid."
25. My parents were great. Tasted like chicken.
26. I've been possessed by the spirits of old lovers before. Never goes well.
27. If anything ever happened to Connor, I don't know what I'd do. It scares me. I used to think love could be a terrible thing; I thought it was something that swallowed you whole, ripped you up inside. But what I feel for my son, even that fear... it's not terrible. It's beautiful.
28. I can eat food. It doesn't keep me alive, but, you know, sometimes I get a hankering.
29. Certain friends and coworkers have been known to accuse me of being the quiet, stay-at-home, sulky one.
30. I started it, you know. The whole having a soul. Before it was all the cool new thing.
*
i was thinking about doing one of these for angel by coming up with random stuff on my own, but i actually kinda think this is funnier, because it's all true. :) i'd love to see one about spike now.
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no subject
Date: 2009-02-20 05:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-20 05:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-20 06:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-20 08:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-20 09:35 pm (UTC)::hugs::
no subject
Date: 2009-02-20 09:59 pm (UTC)Heee.
*sigh*
no subject
Date: 2009-02-20 10:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-21 08:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-21 05:28 pm (UTC)You're the bomb, baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
no subject
Date: 2009-02-21 06:43 pm (UTC)Thank you for posting these. You made me want to re watch the series... for like the 100th time :)
xxx
no subject
Date: 2009-02-22 10:30 pm (UTC)Got to agree with him on the power walking. Why do they always emerge on Sunday mornings? And wear *really* short shorts?
no subject
Date: 2009-03-17 04:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-13 08:00 am (UTC)Neat. :-)