Terror Aboard the Persephone! (part 8)
Jun. 26th, 2009 07:41 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
girlpiredrive-by posting! sorry it's been a few days, but rl is insane. i hope you guys remember what's going on.
Title: Terror Aboard the Persephone! (Part Eight)
Author: girlpire
Rating: PG-13 (or FRT)
Characters: Angel, Spike, Gunn, Connor, Wesley, Xander, Riley, and Kate, plus more OC's than you will probably be comfortable with.
Disclaimer: This story is based on the "Angel" series, with which I am not affiliated in any way. Joss Whedon is my master, etc.
Distribution: Please do not archive this story anywhere.
Summary: A series of highly improbable coincidences aboard a cruise ship makes stopping this particular apocalypse a bit more complicated than usual for the fang gang.
Author's Notes: This story takes place at some ambiguous point during season five of AtS. Spike is solid, Connor doesn't know who Angel is, and Xander is both-eyed and didn't participate in the BtVS comics. The entire fic spans the course of about five hours.
[Part 1]
[Part 2]
[Part 3]
[Part 4]
[Part 5]
[Part 6]
[Part 7]
***
Terror Aboard the Persephone!
Part Eight
***
Angel shed his clothes very quickly and pulled on the brown robe. It had gold sequined patterns on it and was obviously a costume of some sort, but he couldn't care less at this point. Whoever had planned to perform in it (Hades, according to the label on the hanger) would just have to do without.
Funnily enough, this Hades character appeared to be exactly Angel's size.
Now for some shoes. Angel's own shoes were still a little soggy from his recent dip in the ocean, and on top of that, some acidic demon blood had seeped into the left one. He really didn't like the idea of putting them on again. He stood there barefoot, scanning the shelves for footwear with his mouth open, because touching his burning tongue to anything, even the roof of his mouth, was uncomfortable. He probably looked like an idiot, but at least no one was here to see him.
Of the few pairs of dance shoes on the shelf near the other door, none were Angel's size. There was a black duffel bag nestled among the shoes at the end of the row, though, so he took the bag down and unzipped it, hoping to find more shoes inside. Instead, he found two handguns with several clips, a flashlight, a lockpick toolkit, some rope and a small knife set, some communications equipment, and one enormous gun-shaped gadget that he suspected was some sort of... enormous gun. And these were definitely not stage props.
"Fuh," Angel said quietly.
Wait a second. Fuh?
"Fuh," he said a little louder, then sighed. Yeah, so, he definitely couldn't say the K sound right now. Not with his throat in this much pain. Wonderful. Very softly, he went through the alphabet, trying out all the different sounds to himself. The ones that hurt the most were K and S, though he could force out the rest of them. He had to try pretty hard with G and T, but they were doable.
"I hate my life," he muttered, just to make sure he could. It came out satisfactorily, although saying it didn't make it any less true.
Just then, the door labeled TO STAGE swung open, and a petite woman hurried into the costume room. She was wearing all black. Must be a stage manager. Angel quickly zipped the duffel he was holding so she wouldn't see what it contained, but he didn't put it down. He was unfamiliar with cruise boat regulations, but these were some serious weapons, and he was fairly sure they had to have been hidden here illegally. He wasn't going to let them out of his sight.
"Hades!" the woman exclaimed, looking delighted to see Angel. "I thought we'd lost you!"
Angel couldn't help glancing around the room. She had spoken in his direction, but maybe... maybe there was someone else there? So he could avoid having to explain himself? Please?
He finally looked back at her. "Who, me?" he said. "I don't... I'm not Hadee." He winced internally at the dropped S.
"Of course, of course." The woman waved away his words as she scurried over to him and grabbed his arm, then tugged him toward the door to the backstage area with an unexpectedly firm grip. Angel stumbled forward behind her, clutching the duffel bag. "You're just an actor," she breezed, hauling him up some steps. "But I'm sure the director's going to be as pleased to hear you're back in the show as he would be if you were the real Hades himself!" She laughed at her own weak joke as she pulled Angel into the wings of the stage.
He was much too startled by this surprise attack to put up a fight.
***
Gunn flipped a switch at the small of the security bot's back and then quickly stepped away. There, that was the last of them. Wesley had wanted him to activate some more, so here they were, all twenty-six of them (minus the two he had guarding the ballroom door), standing at attention, awaiting his orders, and... looking him up and down with lustful expressions. Gunn gritted his teeth. It's not that he was intolerant; it's just that he was uncomfortable. He was going to put in a special request for the making of girlie-bots, stat, whether Spike was around to be indecent with them or not.
"Okay, I want four of you to head to the safe room," he said. "Guard the auction items. The rest of you, spread out around the ballroom and keep watch for Phlegethonites. Understand?"
There was a vaguely mechanical chorus of "Yes, sir," and then the bots began to file out of the storage closet. All except one.
"Mr. Gunn, sir," said the bot. "I wish to protect you specifically. If you'll allow it, I will stay by your side for the rest of the evening. Please let me service you this way. I am very strong and will never tire of being your personal--"
Gunn interrupted the bot by swiftly reaching around it and flipping its power switch to the off setting. This one could stay in the closet, thank you very much.
Gunn straightened his tux jacket and stepped out of the closet into the ballroom, shutting the door behind himself. Already, several of the bots were lining themselves down each side of the room toward the stage, where the last item before intermission was being auctioned. Good.
"Going once," announced the auctioneer.
Gunn cleared his throat in anticipation of the break and started to make his way down front. It was his job to introduce the special interluding theatrical performance.
***
"Nonono, no," Angel insisted, "you don't undertand."
"Shhh!" someone hissed. "Quiet backstage!"
Angel lowered his voice slightly. "I'm not Hadee," he repeated in a loud whisper.
The petite woman plopped an elaborate gold crown on his head. "I know, sugar," she responded soothingly, pushing him over to a tiny masking-taped X on the floor. They were now in the middle of the stage, but the curtain was closed, and the lights were very dim. "Now, you just stand there..."
"Don't tell me where to tand," Angel said. "I'm not Hadee!"
"Girls," the woman called softly, paying him no attention. Angel looked over to see four beautiful young women in revealing sequined outfits and strange makeup hurrying toward him. "Lovely, lovely," the woman commented. She took hold of the duffel Angel was carrying. "Now, I'll just put this in a..."
"No!" Angel said, clutching the bag to his chest.
"Don't worry, dear. I'll keep it safe for you." She tugged on it, but he didn't let go.
"Places, please," someone quietly announced.
The four sequined girls took up position around Angel, two of them trying to link their arms with his and the other two kneeling at his feet. While he was distracted by their movement, the petite woman yanked the bag out of his hands. He tried to reach for it, but the two standing girls immediately grabbed his arms. "Give that baa!" he said.
"Your bag will be waiting as soon as the performance is over," the petite woman assured him.
"But I'm not uppoed to be here!" he argued. She was already striding quickly away, duffel in hand. Angel turned desperately to the girl at his left. "I'm not uppoed to be here," he told her.
She squeezed his arm. "Don't worry," she whispered. "We all get a little stage fright sometimes."
Angel could hear someone talking into a mic somewhere nearby. The voice sounded familiar, but he was too preoccupied to place it. How the hell was he going to get out of here without hurting someone?
"Let me go," he whispered. He turned to the girl at his other side. "Let me go. Plea."
"Just take a deep breath," she said, tightening her grip on his arm. "You'll be fine."
Then the music started.
Oh, fuh.
***
"So, without further ado," Gunn was saying into the microphone, "allow me to present Hell Queen: A Love Story." He smiled charmingly at the mostly demonic audience as they began to clap. Then the ballroom lights dimmed, and he walked off quickly and down the stairs at the side of the stage as the opening music began to play.
This was the only part of the cruise that Gunn had actually been looking forward to. He wouldn't have admitted it, but he enjoyed musical theater to a greater degree than most of the people he knew. He especially enjoyed the synchronized dancing. And Hell Queen was supposed to have some beautiful dance sequences.
He made his way to the back of the ballroom and stood where he'd been standing for most of the evening, where he could see the stage but was also close enough to the safe room to keep an eye on the door. He glanced over at the guards stationed outside of the safe room. There were two standing there, and the other two were inside. At the moment, everything seemed to be going pretty smoothly. For an apocalypse.
And that is when he looked up at the stage, just as the curtain opened.
If Gunn had made a list today before he boarded the Persephone and called it "Five Things I Never Expect to See," it would have looked something like this:
1. The back of his own head.
2. A black President.
3. An Andrea Bocelli performance of "What's Your Fantasy" by Ludacris.
4. A leprechaun riding on a unicorn that's fighting a wooly mammoth inside a ball of fire.
5. Angel doing musical theater.
Since it was dark and he was standing behind everyone else anyway, Gunn didn't bother to school his shocked expression into something more appropriate for a Wolfram and Hart representative during an important event. He let his eyes widen and his mouth drop open as he stared at the 251-year-old vampire with a soul dressed in a sparkly robe with a big gold crown on his head, surrounded by chorus girls. The fact that Angel's own expression looked somewhat like a cross between a defensively puffed-up housecat and a deer in headlights didn't register at first. If Gunn's capacity for rational thought hadn't just exploded out of the back of his brain, he probably would have been able to tell that this performance of Angel's had been compulsory and heatedly unwelcome, but for the moment, all he could do was watch as the girls sang and danced around Wolfram and Hart's newest CEO, while Angel himself stood perfectly stiff and still as though willing himself invisible.
More girls in shiny outfits began to pour evenly onto the stage from both sides. The opening number was a big one. Gunn watched Angel hesitantly sidestep a kickline, then attempt to scoot off stage left before being caught and forced into a makeshift waltz with one of the four chorus girls he'd been standing with as the curtain opened. As soon as she'd finished hauling him around the stage, another took her place. Angel's eyes were darting around frantically. He looked like he was searching for an escape. Gunn was riveted.
"Charles," a tiny voice said in his ear. After a pause, it tried again, "Charles, are you there?"
"Huh?" Gunn responded, eyes glued to the stage.
"Gunn, I thought you should know, the smaller boat I mentioned earlier - the Pegasus - is now within swimming distance of Persephone." Wesley informed him. "Should it become necessary to abandon ship, just head in that direction and she'll pick you up. Alright?"
"Huh," said Gunn.
With nothing more forthcoming, Wesley asked, "Gunn, are you well? You don't sound like yourself."
"Uh-huh," said Gunn. The third chorus girl had Angel now and was draping herself provocatively around him. It would have been a sexy dance if she'd been able to coax the slightest bit of participation from her reluctant partner. She had a bright smile pasted on over some obvious frustration. Angel was staring at her like he'd never seen a human before in his life and was sort of horrified by this first encounter.
"I'd appreciate a more specific answer, if it wouldn't be too much trouble," Wesley said.
Gunn blinked rapidly, trying to snap himself out of his daze. "I'm, uh... I'm... everything's fine, English," he finally managed. "But, um... do you remember what Angel said he was doing tonight?"
"I believe he said he'd had plans, but they'd been cancelled. Why?"
"Well," said Gunn, "either he lied to us..." Gunn's eyes helplessly followed Angel's awkward progress around the stage. "Or he decided that the show must go on."
***
"...and then you will abandon ship. Repeat, you will abandon ship. Lilac, please acknowledge your orders. Over."
"Orders acknowledged," Riley said, satisfied that these instructions would be simple enough to follow. He couldn't wait to get off this boat. He added, "I'll see you soon, Blackbird."
"Be careful, agent," his wife replied. "I'll be in the rendezvous transport."
Riley smiled. "You don't have to do that."
"I know," she said, in a no-nonsense tone. And that was all there was to it. "Blackbird out."
Riley huffed fondly at Sam's stubbornness. It's not as though he were in any actual danger, but when she worried about his missions, she always insisted on being with the rendezvous group. Well, if she wanted to go for a helicopter ride tonight, that was fine with him. At least the mission was becoming more interesting. He slipped out of the game room and headed toward the employee locker rooms downstairs. He intended to change out of this silly uniform before following the orders he'd just been given.
***
Kate Lockley was on the hunt. That's what this was. A great big... boat... of a vampire hunt. The fact that she was a teensey weensey bit introxica... intoxli... The fact that she'd been drinking wasn't even hindering her one single iota, no sir. She was just as sharp as she'd always been. As sharp as a razor. As sharp as a fang, ha ha. Wait! What was that?
She spun around quickly and then slapped her hand against the wall to stop herself. A sound! There was a sound! Was the vampire following her? She slid quietly down the empty hallway while still leaning against the wall, one hand clutching her stake. Those vampires. They were clever little bitches. Especially the naked ones. But he probably wasn't naked anymore, the clever bitch. He had her clothes. He was wearing her clothes! She was killing his ass SO HARD when she found him. Wait! What was that? Kate spun around again. A door! She'd better go inside. He was probably in there, the crossdressing fiend.
Maybe that last half a shot hadn't been a good idea. Shot and a half. Whatever.
She ought to dress sparkly more often. Men bought her drinks when she was sparkly. What was she doing?
Vampire! Right!
Kate wrenched open the door and stumbled inside. It was dark in here. There were lots of people in sequined outfits standing around, and there was music playing somewhere. A dance club? Everyone was staring out... on a stage. Oh, she was backstage. Huh, that's weird.
"Hey," she whispered loudly, creeping up behind a tall man in a toga. "Hey, have you seen a vampire back here?"
The tall man glanced over at her in an annoyed way, then did a double take as he saw her outfit. "Persephone?" he whispered. "I thought Anita was doing the Persephone role tonight."
Kate regarded him blankly for a moment. Finally, she said, "That didn't make any sense. You are useless to me." She turned away from him dismissively, but he reached out and caught her hand.
"Hey, you'd better tell Steph what you're doing," he said. "I think she's still trying to find something for Anita to wear." He started tugging her hand, so she went with him, only stumbling a little. The tall man pulled Kate into a dressing room. "Hey, Steph," he called in a loud whisper. "You in here?"
A petite woman quickly appeared out of the shadows. "Make it quick, Jay. I'm about to have a heart attack!"
"I found Persephone," he said, gesturing at Kate.
"Oh, thank God!" Steph replied. "She's supposed to go on in one. Anita's going to be so happy she doesn't have to do it!"
"Look," Kate explained rationally to the small woman. "I'm just trying to find a vampire in a skirt."
"Great," said Steph. "You can do that right after curtain call." She set a small tiara on Kate's head. "Perfect! Let's go."
Steph and the tall man ushered Kate out of the dressing room and toward the wings at stage left. Several girls in sparkly outfits were lined up beside the stage waiting for their entrance cue, but something further off in the wings caught Kate's eye. Lying on the floor not ten feet away was a black duffel bag identical to the one she'd found earlier with terrorist Steve's terroristic weapons of terror in it. "Wait!" she hissed, breaking Steph's hold on her arm and hurrying over to the bag. She unzipped it and peered inside. She was right - more terrorist guns! She zipped it again and slung the duffel over her shoulder. She was going to hide this one like she'd hidden the other one. She couldn't let these terrorist bastards get away with whatever they were plotting!
Unfortunately, just as she began to bolt, Kate tripped over her own shoes. If it hadn't been for Steph and the tall man, she would have faceplanted into a three-headed dog prop and been down for the count. As it was, they caught her, but Steph quickly slipped the duffel off of Kate's shoulder as they pushed her upright.
"That was your cue!" Steph whispered urgently as she pushed Kate in the direction of the brightly lit stage. Confused and suddenly surrounded by other girls in a sea of sequins, Kate Lockley was swept out of the wings and into the light.
***
Another flash of blue in his peripheral vision. Connor sighed. The two pale, goth-looking teenagers were definitely following him.
Not sure exactly what they wanted or what to do about it, he finally just stopped walking and turned around to face them. They weren't immediately visible, but he could see a tuft of blue hair sticking up behind a potted plant at the side of the wide hallway. What was this, some kind of game? Maybe they were LARPing. Whatever, it was annoying.
"Listen, you guys can come out now," he said loudly. "Just... stop hiding. Why are you following me?"
The hair twitched slightly, but nothing else moved.
"I know you're there. I can see you," Connor said, exasperated. "I see your hair. Behind the plant. Yes, you. I'm talking to you. Blue hair. Come out."
Nothing happened.
Connor rolled his eyes and marched forward toward the plant. As he rounded the large pot, a crouching teenage girl came into view. She was watching him warily from beneath long blue bangs. He folded his arms and stared down at her disapprovingly. "What are you doing?" he demanded.
The girl didn't answer. She just tilted her head, watching him. Her gaze immediately started to creep him out. There was something about her eyes. They looked... empty? The hairs on the back of his neck began to stand up.
"Look, I don't know why you're following me," he started, "but--" A quick dart of her eyes over to one side was all the warning he got before the other kid attacked him. The boy was all sharp teeth and gangly, grasping limbs. His wiry arms had Connor in an amateurish stranglehold before Connor could even react. The girl stood up, looking pleased.
Just as his vision began to go black around the edges, Connor managed to overcome his shock long enough to elbow the boy in the side, startling him sufficiently to allow Connor to scramble out of the hold and away several feet. As he stared back at them in disbelief, rubbing his throat, his assailants both took up defensive fighting positions and... hissed at him? What the hell kind of game was this? He had already started to edge backwards, away from the teenagers, when they decided to assault him again.
No time to ponder the intricacies of live action role-playing. As both of the blue-haired freaks lunged for him, together this time, Connor turned on his heel and made a run for it, his new black leather coat flapping around his legs. The teenagers ran after him.
Barely ten seconds into the chase, if Connor happened to notice a blond man in a little toga and black boots staring after him in outrage as he raced past, he didn't bother to stop and ask why.
***
Continued [here].
***
Title: Terror Aboard the Persephone! (Part Eight)
Author: girlpire
Rating: PG-13 (or FRT)
Characters: Angel, Spike, Gunn, Connor, Wesley, Xander, Riley, and Kate, plus more OC's than you will probably be comfortable with.
Disclaimer: This story is based on the "Angel" series, with which I am not affiliated in any way. Joss Whedon is my master, etc.
Distribution: Please do not archive this story anywhere.
Summary: A series of highly improbable coincidences aboard a cruise ship makes stopping this particular apocalypse a bit more complicated than usual for the fang gang.
Author's Notes: This story takes place at some ambiguous point during season five of AtS. Spike is solid, Connor doesn't know who Angel is, and Xander is both-eyed and didn't participate in the BtVS comics. The entire fic spans the course of about five hours.
[Part 1]
[Part 2]
[Part 3]
[Part 4]
[Part 5]
[Part 6]
[Part 7]
***
Terror Aboard the Persephone!
Part Eight
***
Angel shed his clothes very quickly and pulled on the brown robe. It had gold sequined patterns on it and was obviously a costume of some sort, but he couldn't care less at this point. Whoever had planned to perform in it (Hades, according to the label on the hanger) would just have to do without.
Funnily enough, this Hades character appeared to be exactly Angel's size.
Now for some shoes. Angel's own shoes were still a little soggy from his recent dip in the ocean, and on top of that, some acidic demon blood had seeped into the left one. He really didn't like the idea of putting them on again. He stood there barefoot, scanning the shelves for footwear with his mouth open, because touching his burning tongue to anything, even the roof of his mouth, was uncomfortable. He probably looked like an idiot, but at least no one was here to see him.
Of the few pairs of dance shoes on the shelf near the other door, none were Angel's size. There was a black duffel bag nestled among the shoes at the end of the row, though, so he took the bag down and unzipped it, hoping to find more shoes inside. Instead, he found two handguns with several clips, a flashlight, a lockpick toolkit, some rope and a small knife set, some communications equipment, and one enormous gun-shaped gadget that he suspected was some sort of... enormous gun. And these were definitely not stage props.
"Fuh," Angel said quietly.
Wait a second. Fuh?
"Fuh," he said a little louder, then sighed. Yeah, so, he definitely couldn't say the K sound right now. Not with his throat in this much pain. Wonderful. Very softly, he went through the alphabet, trying out all the different sounds to himself. The ones that hurt the most were K and S, though he could force out the rest of them. He had to try pretty hard with G and T, but they were doable.
"I hate my life," he muttered, just to make sure he could. It came out satisfactorily, although saying it didn't make it any less true.
Just then, the door labeled TO STAGE swung open, and a petite woman hurried into the costume room. She was wearing all black. Must be a stage manager. Angel quickly zipped the duffel he was holding so she wouldn't see what it contained, but he didn't put it down. He was unfamiliar with cruise boat regulations, but these were some serious weapons, and he was fairly sure they had to have been hidden here illegally. He wasn't going to let them out of his sight.
"Hades!" the woman exclaimed, looking delighted to see Angel. "I thought we'd lost you!"
Angel couldn't help glancing around the room. She had spoken in his direction, but maybe... maybe there was someone else there? So he could avoid having to explain himself? Please?
He finally looked back at her. "Who, me?" he said. "I don't... I'm not Hadee." He winced internally at the dropped S.
"Of course, of course." The woman waved away his words as she scurried over to him and grabbed his arm, then tugged him toward the door to the backstage area with an unexpectedly firm grip. Angel stumbled forward behind her, clutching the duffel bag. "You're just an actor," she breezed, hauling him up some steps. "But I'm sure the director's going to be as pleased to hear you're back in the show as he would be if you were the real Hades himself!" She laughed at her own weak joke as she pulled Angel into the wings of the stage.
He was much too startled by this surprise attack to put up a fight.
***
Gunn flipped a switch at the small of the security bot's back and then quickly stepped away. There, that was the last of them. Wesley had wanted him to activate some more, so here they were, all twenty-six of them (minus the two he had guarding the ballroom door), standing at attention, awaiting his orders, and... looking him up and down with lustful expressions. Gunn gritted his teeth. It's not that he was intolerant; it's just that he was uncomfortable. He was going to put in a special request for the making of girlie-bots, stat, whether Spike was around to be indecent with them or not.
"Okay, I want four of you to head to the safe room," he said. "Guard the auction items. The rest of you, spread out around the ballroom and keep watch for Phlegethonites. Understand?"
There was a vaguely mechanical chorus of "Yes, sir," and then the bots began to file out of the storage closet. All except one.
"Mr. Gunn, sir," said the bot. "I wish to protect you specifically. If you'll allow it, I will stay by your side for the rest of the evening. Please let me service you this way. I am very strong and will never tire of being your personal--"
Gunn interrupted the bot by swiftly reaching around it and flipping its power switch to the off setting. This one could stay in the closet, thank you very much.
Gunn straightened his tux jacket and stepped out of the closet into the ballroom, shutting the door behind himself. Already, several of the bots were lining themselves down each side of the room toward the stage, where the last item before intermission was being auctioned. Good.
"Going once," announced the auctioneer.
Gunn cleared his throat in anticipation of the break and started to make his way down front. It was his job to introduce the special interluding theatrical performance.
***
"Nonono, no," Angel insisted, "you don't undertand."
"Shhh!" someone hissed. "Quiet backstage!"
Angel lowered his voice slightly. "I'm not Hadee," he repeated in a loud whisper.
The petite woman plopped an elaborate gold crown on his head. "I know, sugar," she responded soothingly, pushing him over to a tiny masking-taped X on the floor. They were now in the middle of the stage, but the curtain was closed, and the lights were very dim. "Now, you just stand there..."
"Don't tell me where to tand," Angel said. "I'm not Hadee!"
"Girls," the woman called softly, paying him no attention. Angel looked over to see four beautiful young women in revealing sequined outfits and strange makeup hurrying toward him. "Lovely, lovely," the woman commented. She took hold of the duffel Angel was carrying. "Now, I'll just put this in a..."
"No!" Angel said, clutching the bag to his chest.
"Don't worry, dear. I'll keep it safe for you." She tugged on it, but he didn't let go.
"Places, please," someone quietly announced.
The four sequined girls took up position around Angel, two of them trying to link their arms with his and the other two kneeling at his feet. While he was distracted by their movement, the petite woman yanked the bag out of his hands. He tried to reach for it, but the two standing girls immediately grabbed his arms. "Give that baa!" he said.
"Your bag will be waiting as soon as the performance is over," the petite woman assured him.
"But I'm not uppoed to be here!" he argued. She was already striding quickly away, duffel in hand. Angel turned desperately to the girl at his left. "I'm not uppoed to be here," he told her.
She squeezed his arm. "Don't worry," she whispered. "We all get a little stage fright sometimes."
Angel could hear someone talking into a mic somewhere nearby. The voice sounded familiar, but he was too preoccupied to place it. How the hell was he going to get out of here without hurting someone?
"Let me go," he whispered. He turned to the girl at his other side. "Let me go. Plea."
"Just take a deep breath," she said, tightening her grip on his arm. "You'll be fine."
Then the music started.
Oh, fuh.
***
"So, without further ado," Gunn was saying into the microphone, "allow me to present Hell Queen: A Love Story." He smiled charmingly at the mostly demonic audience as they began to clap. Then the ballroom lights dimmed, and he walked off quickly and down the stairs at the side of the stage as the opening music began to play.
This was the only part of the cruise that Gunn had actually been looking forward to. He wouldn't have admitted it, but he enjoyed musical theater to a greater degree than most of the people he knew. He especially enjoyed the synchronized dancing. And Hell Queen was supposed to have some beautiful dance sequences.
He made his way to the back of the ballroom and stood where he'd been standing for most of the evening, where he could see the stage but was also close enough to the safe room to keep an eye on the door. He glanced over at the guards stationed outside of the safe room. There were two standing there, and the other two were inside. At the moment, everything seemed to be going pretty smoothly. For an apocalypse.
And that is when he looked up at the stage, just as the curtain opened.
If Gunn had made a list today before he boarded the Persephone and called it "Five Things I Never Expect to See," it would have looked something like this:
1. The back of his own head.
2. A black President.
3. An Andrea Bocelli performance of "What's Your Fantasy" by Ludacris.
4. A leprechaun riding on a unicorn that's fighting a wooly mammoth inside a ball of fire.
5. Angel doing musical theater.
Since it was dark and he was standing behind everyone else anyway, Gunn didn't bother to school his shocked expression into something more appropriate for a Wolfram and Hart representative during an important event. He let his eyes widen and his mouth drop open as he stared at the 251-year-old vampire with a soul dressed in a sparkly robe with a big gold crown on his head, surrounded by chorus girls. The fact that Angel's own expression looked somewhat like a cross between a defensively puffed-up housecat and a deer in headlights didn't register at first. If Gunn's capacity for rational thought hadn't just exploded out of the back of his brain, he probably would have been able to tell that this performance of Angel's had been compulsory and heatedly unwelcome, but for the moment, all he could do was watch as the girls sang and danced around Wolfram and Hart's newest CEO, while Angel himself stood perfectly stiff and still as though willing himself invisible.
More girls in shiny outfits began to pour evenly onto the stage from both sides. The opening number was a big one. Gunn watched Angel hesitantly sidestep a kickline, then attempt to scoot off stage left before being caught and forced into a makeshift waltz with one of the four chorus girls he'd been standing with as the curtain opened. As soon as she'd finished hauling him around the stage, another took her place. Angel's eyes were darting around frantically. He looked like he was searching for an escape. Gunn was riveted.
"Charles," a tiny voice said in his ear. After a pause, it tried again, "Charles, are you there?"
"Huh?" Gunn responded, eyes glued to the stage.
"Gunn, I thought you should know, the smaller boat I mentioned earlier - the Pegasus - is now within swimming distance of Persephone." Wesley informed him. "Should it become necessary to abandon ship, just head in that direction and she'll pick you up. Alright?"
"Huh," said Gunn.
With nothing more forthcoming, Wesley asked, "Gunn, are you well? You don't sound like yourself."
"Uh-huh," said Gunn. The third chorus girl had Angel now and was draping herself provocatively around him. It would have been a sexy dance if she'd been able to coax the slightest bit of participation from her reluctant partner. She had a bright smile pasted on over some obvious frustration. Angel was staring at her like he'd never seen a human before in his life and was sort of horrified by this first encounter.
"I'd appreciate a more specific answer, if it wouldn't be too much trouble," Wesley said.
Gunn blinked rapidly, trying to snap himself out of his daze. "I'm, uh... I'm... everything's fine, English," he finally managed. "But, um... do you remember what Angel said he was doing tonight?"
"I believe he said he'd had plans, but they'd been cancelled. Why?"
"Well," said Gunn, "either he lied to us..." Gunn's eyes helplessly followed Angel's awkward progress around the stage. "Or he decided that the show must go on."
***
"...and then you will abandon ship. Repeat, you will abandon ship. Lilac, please acknowledge your orders. Over."
"Orders acknowledged," Riley said, satisfied that these instructions would be simple enough to follow. He couldn't wait to get off this boat. He added, "I'll see you soon, Blackbird."
"Be careful, agent," his wife replied. "I'll be in the rendezvous transport."
Riley smiled. "You don't have to do that."
"I know," she said, in a no-nonsense tone. And that was all there was to it. "Blackbird out."
Riley huffed fondly at Sam's stubbornness. It's not as though he were in any actual danger, but when she worried about his missions, she always insisted on being with the rendezvous group. Well, if she wanted to go for a helicopter ride tonight, that was fine with him. At least the mission was becoming more interesting. He slipped out of the game room and headed toward the employee locker rooms downstairs. He intended to change out of this silly uniform before following the orders he'd just been given.
***
Kate Lockley was on the hunt. That's what this was. A great big... boat... of a vampire hunt. The fact that she was a teensey weensey bit introxica... intoxli... The fact that she'd been drinking wasn't even hindering her one single iota, no sir. She was just as sharp as she'd always been. As sharp as a razor. As sharp as a fang, ha ha. Wait! What was that?
She spun around quickly and then slapped her hand against the wall to stop herself. A sound! There was a sound! Was the vampire following her? She slid quietly down the empty hallway while still leaning against the wall, one hand clutching her stake. Those vampires. They were clever little bitches. Especially the naked ones. But he probably wasn't naked anymore, the clever bitch. He had her clothes. He was wearing her clothes! She was killing his ass SO HARD when she found him. Wait! What was that? Kate spun around again. A door! She'd better go inside. He was probably in there, the crossdressing fiend.
Maybe that last half a shot hadn't been a good idea. Shot and a half. Whatever.
She ought to dress sparkly more often. Men bought her drinks when she was sparkly. What was she doing?
Vampire! Right!
Kate wrenched open the door and stumbled inside. It was dark in here. There were lots of people in sequined outfits standing around, and there was music playing somewhere. A dance club? Everyone was staring out... on a stage. Oh, she was backstage. Huh, that's weird.
"Hey," she whispered loudly, creeping up behind a tall man in a toga. "Hey, have you seen a vampire back here?"
The tall man glanced over at her in an annoyed way, then did a double take as he saw her outfit. "Persephone?" he whispered. "I thought Anita was doing the Persephone role tonight."
Kate regarded him blankly for a moment. Finally, she said, "That didn't make any sense. You are useless to me." She turned away from him dismissively, but he reached out and caught her hand.
"Hey, you'd better tell Steph what you're doing," he said. "I think she's still trying to find something for Anita to wear." He started tugging her hand, so she went with him, only stumbling a little. The tall man pulled Kate into a dressing room. "Hey, Steph," he called in a loud whisper. "You in here?"
A petite woman quickly appeared out of the shadows. "Make it quick, Jay. I'm about to have a heart attack!"
"I found Persephone," he said, gesturing at Kate.
"Oh, thank God!" Steph replied. "She's supposed to go on in one. Anita's going to be so happy she doesn't have to do it!"
"Look," Kate explained rationally to the small woman. "I'm just trying to find a vampire in a skirt."
"Great," said Steph. "You can do that right after curtain call." She set a small tiara on Kate's head. "Perfect! Let's go."
Steph and the tall man ushered Kate out of the dressing room and toward the wings at stage left. Several girls in sparkly outfits were lined up beside the stage waiting for their entrance cue, but something further off in the wings caught Kate's eye. Lying on the floor not ten feet away was a black duffel bag identical to the one she'd found earlier with terrorist Steve's terroristic weapons of terror in it. "Wait!" she hissed, breaking Steph's hold on her arm and hurrying over to the bag. She unzipped it and peered inside. She was right - more terrorist guns! She zipped it again and slung the duffel over her shoulder. She was going to hide this one like she'd hidden the other one. She couldn't let these terrorist bastards get away with whatever they were plotting!
Unfortunately, just as she began to bolt, Kate tripped over her own shoes. If it hadn't been for Steph and the tall man, she would have faceplanted into a three-headed dog prop and been down for the count. As it was, they caught her, but Steph quickly slipped the duffel off of Kate's shoulder as they pushed her upright.
"That was your cue!" Steph whispered urgently as she pushed Kate in the direction of the brightly lit stage. Confused and suddenly surrounded by other girls in a sea of sequins, Kate Lockley was swept out of the wings and into the light.
***
Another flash of blue in his peripheral vision. Connor sighed. The two pale, goth-looking teenagers were definitely following him.
Not sure exactly what they wanted or what to do about it, he finally just stopped walking and turned around to face them. They weren't immediately visible, but he could see a tuft of blue hair sticking up behind a potted plant at the side of the wide hallway. What was this, some kind of game? Maybe they were LARPing. Whatever, it was annoying.
"Listen, you guys can come out now," he said loudly. "Just... stop hiding. Why are you following me?"
The hair twitched slightly, but nothing else moved.
"I know you're there. I can see you," Connor said, exasperated. "I see your hair. Behind the plant. Yes, you. I'm talking to you. Blue hair. Come out."
Nothing happened.
Connor rolled his eyes and marched forward toward the plant. As he rounded the large pot, a crouching teenage girl came into view. She was watching him warily from beneath long blue bangs. He folded his arms and stared down at her disapprovingly. "What are you doing?" he demanded.
The girl didn't answer. She just tilted her head, watching him. Her gaze immediately started to creep him out. There was something about her eyes. They looked... empty? The hairs on the back of his neck began to stand up.
"Look, I don't know why you're following me," he started, "but--" A quick dart of her eyes over to one side was all the warning he got before the other kid attacked him. The boy was all sharp teeth and gangly, grasping limbs. His wiry arms had Connor in an amateurish stranglehold before Connor could even react. The girl stood up, looking pleased.
Just as his vision began to go black around the edges, Connor managed to overcome his shock long enough to elbow the boy in the side, startling him sufficiently to allow Connor to scramble out of the hold and away several feet. As he stared back at them in disbelief, rubbing his throat, his assailants both took up defensive fighting positions and... hissed at him? What the hell kind of game was this? He had already started to edge backwards, away from the teenagers, when they decided to assault him again.
No time to ponder the intricacies of live action role-playing. As both of the blue-haired freaks lunged for him, together this time, Connor turned on his heel and made a run for it, his new black leather coat flapping around his legs. The teenagers ran after him.
Barely ten seconds into the chase, if Connor happened to notice a blond man in a little toga and black boots staring after him in outrage as he raced past, he didn't bother to stop and ask why.
***
Continued [here].
***
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-06-26 01:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-26 01:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-26 02:41 pm (UTC)Oh my god is the comedy paying off now.
Angel. Doing musical theatre. *cries*
If Gunn's capacity for rational thought hadn't just exploded out of the back of his brain, he probably would have been able to tell that this performance of Angel's had been compulsory and heatedly unwelcome,
Oh lovely!
And Kate's so introxi... intoks... drunk!! GLEE!
And Spike sees Connor in his coat! Oh yay!
Here they all come rushing to the finale!
It's like watching four cars and a train all converging on an intersection with a malfunctioning traffic light...
no subject
Date: 2009-06-26 03:53 pm (UTC)This was hilarious: She ought to dress sparkly more often. Men bought her drinks when she was sparkly. What was she doing?
Vampire! Right! Kate's going to be a great addition to the floor show!
no subject
Date: 2009-06-26 06:00 pm (UTC)And how Spike sees Connor in his duster run by, followed by blue haired teenagers :)
no subject
Date: 2009-06-27 12:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-27 05:35 am (UTC)*howls*
Oh man! This is hilarious! And Kate intoxi...drunk is priceless.
Can't wait to see what happens next.
no subject
Date: 2009-06-28 01:46 am (UTC)Angel doing musical theatre! It must be the end of the world.
no subject
Date: 2009-06-29 07:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-14 09:47 pm (UTC)This is so very good I can't believe it took me so long to read it! The sheer complexity and entanglements are awesome. The musical elements and Gunn and the robot closet, and sparkly!Kate... Resoundingly hee!