Life of the Party
Oct. 13th, 2020 01:17 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
girlpireEver since I started working on finishing an old Angel fic that I never posted the ending to, I've been concerned about writing the different characters' voices again. I haven't written them in so long that I thought maybe I needed a refresher, and because the fic is set at some ambiguous point during season five of Angel, I decided to rewatch a few episodes of that season just to get back into the right headspace. I sort of joined another fandom for the last eight years or so, and even though no fannish thing can ever come close to topping my love for Angel, I haven't rewatched the show regularly or anything in the meantime and so these first few episodes have been an absolute delight to come back to - it's been the exact perfect amount of time since I've seen them! Like, I remember the storylines of each episode but I'd forgotten most of the actual dialogue exchanges and facial expressions of the actors, and I swear coming back to them is like coming home. I'm remembering so many of the reasons I love this show and these characters so hard in the first place.
Today I started disc 2 of the season five boxset, which begins with the episode Life of the Party. It's the one where Lorne has his sleep removed and because he's an empath demon, that makes his subconscious manifest physically as a sort of King Kong-type violent alternate version of himself. Which is... apparently what happens when you remove an empath demon's sleep? Just go with it. (Btw, this is the type of logic I love in this show. "Hey, we as the writers want to see a certain thing happen just for fun, so here's a completely arbitrary new rule of the universe!" Which is pretty much exactly my standard approach to writing Angel fanfic and probably why this source material lends itself so easily to creative derivations.)
Anyway, I just loved so many of the character moments in this episode that I wanted to jot down a couple of notes about it, mostly for myself to keep in mind while I've got these people all living in my head for fanfic purposes.
So I know this is a Lorne-centric episode, and believe me I love Lorne, but I really think Wesley is the standout character here. Alexis Denisof's in-character drunk acting is so good! The thing where he's completely wasted but acting like he's not. It's so realistic! And he's just incredibly sweet in this episode. At least, to everyone but Knox. I love season five Wesley so much (pre-Lineage) because without his memories of what happened with Connor, his temperament is much more like the way he was in the first three seasons - which is to say, he's interested in/fascinated by the mystical things they encounter but without the dark cloud of doom hanging over him, and he's polite and thoughtful without being resentful or depressed (well, not as depressed as he was, anyway) and he's back to quietly loving his friends without being burdened by the way they treated him the previous season. BUT. He's still season four hot! And season four confident in himself, which I love. Have I ever mentioned that Wesley's my favorite male character after Angel? I mean gosh, I love all of them but Wesley has always felt like he has the most layers. Like some kind of delicious but heartbreaking lasagna.
Anyway, the way he looks after his friends in this episode while trying not to be drunk is so adorable. One of my favorite Wesley moments happens in the background of the scene where they're talking to naked Angel and Eve behind the couch. It's just this two-second throwaway bit where Gunn starts peeing in Angel's office and Wesley tries to stop him.
There's not any dialogue between them here, but the way Wesley hurries over and is clearly just reminding Gunn that this isn't something he actually wants to do is just so funny and sweet. He's trying to look after his friend! It's even cuter that Gunn is the sober one here but Wes still feels responsible for him. And he does the same thing with Fred. A demon at the party bumps into her and she immediately turns and picks a fight with him while Wesley gently pulls her away.
I think it's actually pretty telling that in this scene, Fred is yelling at the demon, "You walk alone! You walk alone!" with the implication being that she isn't walking alone because she's got her friend there with her, a friend whom she trusts to back her up if the confrontation came to blows. And meanwhile that friend is protecting her by removing her from the situation altogether.
More on Alexis Denisof's acting: the speed with which he's able to go from pure joy, thinking Fred finally understands his feelings for her -
to the tragedy of realizing she's not thinking of him the same way at all -
is just so beautiful and heartbreaking. How is this man able to pull off everything about his character so perfectly? There is no emotion that Wesley doesn't experience at some point in his incredible arc, and every little expression and line delivery is spot-on every single time. I believed all of it, which is why it's so hard for me to watch now. Knowing what he goes through.
So! Wesley stole the show. Moving on to important matters, why doesn't Angel have armpit hair? I've always wondered.
Is the idea that he just doesn't grow any? Or are we supposed to believe he's shaved it off? My impression is that we're supposed to think he naturally doesn't grow chest hair (which is such a weird standard for male actors, btw. What's supposed to be wrong with having chest hair? I think it's sexy) but are we supposed to think Angel's completely hairless below the eyebrows? I know it's not important to the show, but in terms of fanfic, I always give Angel armpit hair. I mean not like big bushy weird hair, but a respectable tuft. Pubes too. And I do the same for Spike even though he appeared bizarrely hairless in the previous episode. They were supposed to be in their twenties when they were made vampires, right? Guys in their twenties have pit hair. Does vampire body hair fall out????
Also, Eve slapped Angel's butt...
...and he didn't hate it. Filing that one away for later.
Another Angel moment from this episode that I find really interesting is that when Eve shows up in his apartment and he comes out of the shower naked, he doesn't cover himself. I think I used to believe that it was indicative of a sort of exhibitionist streak, but on this rewatch, it absolutely came across as simply a power move. There wasn't anything sexy about it really, aside from the fact that he's a physically attractive person, although I do think we're supposed to detect some sexual tension between Angel and Eve while he's standing in front of her naked (which, when combined with their conversation about Angel needing a release, is setting up the later scene of Lorne telling them to 'get a room' because of that so-called tension). I never really felt any sexual tension between those two characters, though. Ehhh, well she did give him a look, but Angel so clearly despises her that it's difficult to detect any attraction on his part at all. And standing naked in front of her without bothering to cover himself is like saying, 'I don't think you deserve the respect that I would offer literally anyone else. You're nothing.' In fact, it very much reminds me of the way Angelus would fool around with Drusilla in front of Spike. That, of course, has always been a lot sexier because of the tension between those characters, but at the same time it was definitely always more about power than about being turned on by being watched. (Though I suppose an argument could be made that the power is what turns him on in the first place, which is quite often an aspect of the Angel I write in fanfic, but that's still not exactly the same as having an exhibitionist streak. Which incidentally is also an aspect of my fic Angel.) Angelus was making it clear that he had no respect for Spike as a person. And Angel has no respect for Eve.
In fact! It just occurred to me that Angel is naked in front of the entire cast in this episode and he hides his nudity from ALL of the other characters, including Archduke Sebassis. But not Eve.
Moving right along, what is Spike's face here?
Hahaha, sorry, I get that Spike's whole thing in this episode is that he's supposed to be enjoying everything a lot more than he usually would, and this is him enjoying the dance beat of the music being played at the party... but who makes this face when they're listening to music? It just struck me as a really funny acting choice. I mean it definitely feels in-character for Spike as far as his usual facial expressions for different things, but I'm just trying to picture anyone making their mouth go like that in real life because they like a song. I like that this is his happy face though. It's so weird and interesting. James does so much facial acting as Spike and I think that's important to remember when trying to write him in fic.
Also! I didn't screencap this but Angel and Spike have a brief exchange in which they each acknowledge the other's aversion to parties/crowds. I find that to be pretty interesting because for some reason I always remember that Angel doesn't like being around a lot of people, but I never remember that about Spike. I think maybe that's because Angel likes to be - specifically - alone, while Spike does seem to like having at least one person for company. Like in the previous episode, Hellbound, when he's scared he even seeks out Angel's company rather than having to be by himself. But there's a big difference between wanting someone to talk to and wanting to be at a party.
Oh, and another Spike thing that I had forgotten about: he makes a comment in this episode about how no self-respecting demon would actually go out on Halloween, that they leave that to the posers. That's a sentiment that's been repeated in this universe before, but I find it interesting that Spike subscribes to that line of thinking, because it indicates that he has some respect for traditional demonic/vampiric values. I always think of his character as being one that bucks against the system in every way that he can, even breaking rules specifically for the sake of breaking them, but here we see a side of him that is disgusted with other creatures of the night for not respecting tradition. Kinda makes him sound old, like he wants to tell them to get off his lawn.
Okay, gonna finish off with the most important thing from this episode: After Angel delegates some tasks to Wesley, Fred, and Gunn, he then tells Eve to stay in the office with him and have more sex. Perfectly understandable (they did establish that he needed a release, after all). BUT. When Archduke Sebassis bursts into Angel's office later, we find Spike and Lorne still there, sitting like this, apparently having a conversation and startled to be interrupted by the door crashing open.
And then Angel and Eve pop up from behind the couch again, where they'd apparently been having more sex, as Angel had suggested. The couch in the same office where Spike and Lorne are just chilling. Like a few feet away. Enjoying each other's company. While Angel has sex in the same room.
???!
I... I mean I get that for the purposes of the scene, it's convenient to have Spike and Lorne present when Sebassis confronts Angel. But we're supposed to believe that Angel and Eve announce their intention to continue fucking behind the couch and Spike and Lorne are just like, okay cool whatever, and they settle in for a moment of bonding five feet away? Listening to the sex?? This is after they already know that Lorne is controlling everyone too, but Lorne doesn't even attempt to stop Angel and Eve from continuing their tryst, even knowing they're only doing it because of him. Like he could have just said, "Hey y'all can stop now" but... it doesn't even occur to him. And literally no one is bothered about any of this except Archduke Sebassis, who tells Angel to get dressed.
Fascinating.
Today I started disc 2 of the season five boxset, which begins with the episode Life of the Party. It's the one where Lorne has his sleep removed and because he's an empath demon, that makes his subconscious manifest physically as a sort of King Kong-type violent alternate version of himself. Which is... apparently what happens when you remove an empath demon's sleep? Just go with it. (Btw, this is the type of logic I love in this show. "Hey, we as the writers want to see a certain thing happen just for fun, so here's a completely arbitrary new rule of the universe!" Which is pretty much exactly my standard approach to writing Angel fanfic and probably why this source material lends itself so easily to creative derivations.)
Anyway, I just loved so many of the character moments in this episode that I wanted to jot down a couple of notes about it, mostly for myself to keep in mind while I've got these people all living in my head for fanfic purposes.
So I know this is a Lorne-centric episode, and believe me I love Lorne, but I really think Wesley is the standout character here. Alexis Denisof's in-character drunk acting is so good! The thing where he's completely wasted but acting like he's not. It's so realistic! And he's just incredibly sweet in this episode. At least, to everyone but Knox. I love season five Wesley so much (pre-Lineage) because without his memories of what happened with Connor, his temperament is much more like the way he was in the first three seasons - which is to say, he's interested in/fascinated by the mystical things they encounter but without the dark cloud of doom hanging over him, and he's polite and thoughtful without being resentful or depressed (well, not as depressed as he was, anyway) and he's back to quietly loving his friends without being burdened by the way they treated him the previous season. BUT. He's still season four hot! And season four confident in himself, which I love. Have I ever mentioned that Wesley's my favorite male character after Angel? I mean gosh, I love all of them but Wesley has always felt like he has the most layers. Like some kind of delicious but heartbreaking lasagna.
Anyway, the way he looks after his friends in this episode while trying not to be drunk is so adorable. One of my favorite Wesley moments happens in the background of the scene where they're talking to naked Angel and Eve behind the couch. It's just this two-second throwaway bit where Gunn starts peeing in Angel's office and Wesley tries to stop him.
There's not any dialogue between them here, but the way Wesley hurries over and is clearly just reminding Gunn that this isn't something he actually wants to do is just so funny and sweet. He's trying to look after his friend! It's even cuter that Gunn is the sober one here but Wes still feels responsible for him. And he does the same thing with Fred. A demon at the party bumps into her and she immediately turns and picks a fight with him while Wesley gently pulls her away.
I think it's actually pretty telling that in this scene, Fred is yelling at the demon, "You walk alone! You walk alone!" with the implication being that she isn't walking alone because she's got her friend there with her, a friend whom she trusts to back her up if the confrontation came to blows. And meanwhile that friend is protecting her by removing her from the situation altogether.
More on Alexis Denisof's acting: the speed with which he's able to go from pure joy, thinking Fred finally understands his feelings for her -
to the tragedy of realizing she's not thinking of him the same way at all -
is just so beautiful and heartbreaking. How is this man able to pull off everything about his character so perfectly? There is no emotion that Wesley doesn't experience at some point in his incredible arc, and every little expression and line delivery is spot-on every single time. I believed all of it, which is why it's so hard for me to watch now. Knowing what he goes through.
So! Wesley stole the show. Moving on to important matters, why doesn't Angel have armpit hair? I've always wondered.
Is the idea that he just doesn't grow any? Or are we supposed to believe he's shaved it off? My impression is that we're supposed to think he naturally doesn't grow chest hair (which is such a weird standard for male actors, btw. What's supposed to be wrong with having chest hair? I think it's sexy) but are we supposed to think Angel's completely hairless below the eyebrows? I know it's not important to the show, but in terms of fanfic, I always give Angel armpit hair. I mean not like big bushy weird hair, but a respectable tuft. Pubes too. And I do the same for Spike even though he appeared bizarrely hairless in the previous episode. They were supposed to be in their twenties when they were made vampires, right? Guys in their twenties have pit hair. Does vampire body hair fall out????
Also, Eve slapped Angel's butt...
...and he didn't hate it. Filing that one away for later.
Another Angel moment from this episode that I find really interesting is that when Eve shows up in his apartment and he comes out of the shower naked, he doesn't cover himself. I think I used to believe that it was indicative of a sort of exhibitionist streak, but on this rewatch, it absolutely came across as simply a power move. There wasn't anything sexy about it really, aside from the fact that he's a physically attractive person, although I do think we're supposed to detect some sexual tension between Angel and Eve while he's standing in front of her naked (which, when combined with their conversation about Angel needing a release, is setting up the later scene of Lorne telling them to 'get a room' because of that so-called tension). I never really felt any sexual tension between those two characters, though. Ehhh, well she did give him a look, but Angel so clearly despises her that it's difficult to detect any attraction on his part at all. And standing naked in front of her without bothering to cover himself is like saying, 'I don't think you deserve the respect that I would offer literally anyone else. You're nothing.' In fact, it very much reminds me of the way Angelus would fool around with Drusilla in front of Spike. That, of course, has always been a lot sexier because of the tension between those characters, but at the same time it was definitely always more about power than about being turned on by being watched. (Though I suppose an argument could be made that the power is what turns him on in the first place, which is quite often an aspect of the Angel I write in fanfic, but that's still not exactly the same as having an exhibitionist streak. Which incidentally is also an aspect of my fic Angel.) Angelus was making it clear that he had no respect for Spike as a person. And Angel has no respect for Eve.
In fact! It just occurred to me that Angel is naked in front of the entire cast in this episode and he hides his nudity from ALL of the other characters, including Archduke Sebassis. But not Eve.
Moving right along, what is Spike's face here?
Hahaha, sorry, I get that Spike's whole thing in this episode is that he's supposed to be enjoying everything a lot more than he usually would, and this is him enjoying the dance beat of the music being played at the party... but who makes this face when they're listening to music? It just struck me as a really funny acting choice. I mean it definitely feels in-character for Spike as far as his usual facial expressions for different things, but I'm just trying to picture anyone making their mouth go like that in real life because they like a song. I like that this is his happy face though. It's so weird and interesting. James does so much facial acting as Spike and I think that's important to remember when trying to write him in fic.
Also! I didn't screencap this but Angel and Spike have a brief exchange in which they each acknowledge the other's aversion to parties/crowds. I find that to be pretty interesting because for some reason I always remember that Angel doesn't like being around a lot of people, but I never remember that about Spike. I think maybe that's because Angel likes to be - specifically - alone, while Spike does seem to like having at least one person for company. Like in the previous episode, Hellbound, when he's scared he even seeks out Angel's company rather than having to be by himself. But there's a big difference between wanting someone to talk to and wanting to be at a party.
Oh, and another Spike thing that I had forgotten about: he makes a comment in this episode about how no self-respecting demon would actually go out on Halloween, that they leave that to the posers. That's a sentiment that's been repeated in this universe before, but I find it interesting that Spike subscribes to that line of thinking, because it indicates that he has some respect for traditional demonic/vampiric values. I always think of his character as being one that bucks against the system in every way that he can, even breaking rules specifically for the sake of breaking them, but here we see a side of him that is disgusted with other creatures of the night for not respecting tradition. Kinda makes him sound old, like he wants to tell them to get off his lawn.
Okay, gonna finish off with the most important thing from this episode: After Angel delegates some tasks to Wesley, Fred, and Gunn, he then tells Eve to stay in the office with him and have more sex. Perfectly understandable (they did establish that he needed a release, after all). BUT. When Archduke Sebassis bursts into Angel's office later, we find Spike and Lorne still there, sitting like this, apparently having a conversation and startled to be interrupted by the door crashing open.
And then Angel and Eve pop up from behind the couch again, where they'd apparently been having more sex, as Angel had suggested. The couch in the same office where Spike and Lorne are just chilling. Like a few feet away. Enjoying each other's company. While Angel has sex in the same room.
???!
I... I mean I get that for the purposes of the scene, it's convenient to have Spike and Lorne present when Sebassis confronts Angel. But we're supposed to believe that Angel and Eve announce their intention to continue fucking behind the couch and Spike and Lorne are just like, okay cool whatever, and they settle in for a moment of bonding five feet away? Listening to the sex?? This is after they already know that Lorne is controlling everyone too, but Lorne doesn't even attempt to stop Angel and Eve from continuing their tryst, even knowing they're only doing it because of him. Like he could have just said, "Hey y'all can stop now" but... it doesn't even occur to him. And literally no one is bothered about any of this except Archduke Sebassis, who tells Angel to get dressed.
Fascinating.
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Date: 2020-10-13 07:32 am (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2020-10-14 09:53 pm (UTC)Wes and Faith, the two most tragic figures in the 'verse.
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Date: 2020-10-19 12:35 pm (UTC)Ever since I started working on finishing an old Angel fic that I never posted the ending to, I've been concerned about writing the different characters' voices again.
I hear you so much. I started a fic way back when, dropped it, and then came back to it... many years later. And trying to find the right tone is not easy. Like, they all live in my head, but there is a difference between my memory and the actual show.
it's been the exact perfect amount of time since I've seen them! Like, I remember the storylines of each episode but I'd forgotten most of the actual dialogue exchanges and facial expressions of the actors, and I swear coming back to them is like coming home. I'm remembering so many of the reasons I love this show and these characters so hard in the first place.
♥ ♥ ♥ We had a similar thing when we started to watch Buffy last summer with the girls.
(Btw, this is the type of logic I love in this show. "Hey, we as the writers want to see a certain thing happen just for fun, so here's a completely arbitrary new rule of the universe!" Which is pretty much exactly my standard approach to writing Angel fanfic and probably why this source material lends itself so easily to creative derivations.)
Hear hear!
but I really think Wesley is the standout character here. Alexis Denisof's in-character drunk acting is so good!
My IMMEDIATE thought is always the scene where they're waiting for the lift (elevator) and Wesley is like 'Come on come on come on' and then realises that he hasn't actually pressed the button... Makes me laugh, just thinking about it.
And then I keep reading and just nodding along. I should re-watch also, it's been too long. Although:
Angelus was making it clear that he had no respect for Spike as a person. And Angel has no respect for Eve.
This is a really interesting point. I'll have to look out for it.
Anyway, re. Wesley (and yeah, love how he is so much happier, but still has that edge) then you reminded me of a post I wrote years ago: Why Ten is like Wesley. I threw a ton of quotes in there, so if you're curious follow the link. :)
You’re HERE!
Date: 2021-11-13 09:23 pm (UTC)Second I can’t believe that you’re here and talking about writing and apparently said writing has already also happened. (I also had to pause and do a small and embarrassing happy dance lol.)
Third I thought so many times about going back to finish some of my stories or writing something new but I also feel like I have no clue as to how to get started with the characters voices again. (And when I read some of what I previously wrote I’m never certain I had it down to begin with to be honest.) it has been 9 years since the last time I sat down and watched some episodes/seasons of Angel and even longer for Buffy. As you broke down the episode here I couldn’t believe how many details have slipped away. I used to be able to practically recite the dialogue along with the characters in a lot of episodes.
Fourth and last now I have to find the time to start reading all the newness! Christmas has officially come early for me. God bless us every one!
Re: You’re HERE!
Date: 2021-11-13 11:53 pm (UTC)Not kidding, ever since I got back into this fandom last year, I've visited your LJ a few times to re-read some of your old fic. Your sex scenes are SO good! Therefore you are not allowed to be hard on yourself about it. I have spoken.
You definitely need to rewatch Angel, though. Not necessarily for the purposes of fic writing as much as for your own personal health and well-being. I spent many years away as well, and let me tell you, coming back to the show made me SO happy! BUT I'd also love for you to come back with fic if you wanna. Can I recommend moving some of your old stuff over to AO3? It's a nice way to reintegrate into the fandom without putting pressure on yourself to write something new. I'm posting over there now and only linking from LJ for organizational purposes. But most of the people I knew from before have moved on from livejournal. I'm so glad you popped in! (That's what she said?)
RE: Re: You’re HERE!
Date: 2021-11-14 07:17 am (UTC)Actually I divorced the jerk I was separated from back in the day and got re-married to someone who doesn’t suck so I did do something over the years. Just not anything fannish or writerly (which probably isn’t a word but when you’re old you get to make things up and no one can challenge you and if they do you just pretend to be deaf or senile and go on about your business). Actually I remember mentioning the last time I commented on something you posted that Arianna got married but not that I did. She moved to Liverpool (England) with her husband.
But I’ve always stopped by your LJ to re-read things semi-frequently. I’ve found that some things I thought were good years ago don’t really hold up now that the fandom lost its shine (mostly triggered by the ship wars of the early 2010s lol). But I can ALWAYS depend on your stuff to be just as good as the last time I read it. I wrote porn with a whisper of plot to give the characters an excuse to do as I commanded. You wrote actual stories.
As for watching Angel again I’ve been considering it since the whole scandal about Joss Whedon probably being a jerk came out. Something I might pursue during the holidays as it’s been long enough that it’ll seem fresh again. I had never even heard of AO3 but maybe putting some of my stuff over there might be another project for the holidays. Although I can’t imagine anyone would be running to read it these days. I also would most likely immediately notice everything wrong with what I wrote and want to fix it and end up down a rabbit hole.
I miss writing but I thought this fandom was pretty much roadkill as everyone worth reading fell off the planet. (Or stopped communicating with me and started publishing things I wrote with them or mostly just wrote myself as their own “original” fic and making money from it. Which is a complaint for another day. ) So I had mostly been coming back around during the holidays when I was feeling sentimental/nostalgic and checking to see if anyone I knew was around. I guess last year I didn’t because the entire world was made of suck. Wouldn’t you know that would be when you’d show up and then I’d miss it!
Re: You’re HERE!
Date: 2021-11-15 02:44 am (UTC)The Great Fandom Ship War is still going on and it still sucks so much rancid goat ass. That kinda crap is why I left fandom in the first place, and I didn't know where to go when I wanted to get back in, but then a friend invited me to Discord, so that's where I've been hanging out lately - that and AO3 for the fic. The thing is that by this point, the main ships in the war are spuffy and bangel, and even though I ship Angel around with lots of characters (including Spike), I had to choose bangel just so I won't have to see all the Angel-hate being posted by spuffies. It's pretty bad on social media, so I can't engage with BtVS content on twitter or tumblr or instagram, but Discord is okay.
I mostly came back to finish writing a couple of things left unfinished from back in the day. Even though the number of readers is a LOT smaller in this fandom now, I wanted to finish because I hate the idea of those incomplete fics just languishing here. So I feel like you can't really start back up for the feedback high that used to come from posting - something that would've gotten 50 comments back then might get 3 or 4 now - but it's worth it to me for the satisfaction of completing the work. But hey, if you start posting spangel on AO3 then together we might start a spangel renaissance! That would be something.
If you want to write in another fandom, though, AO3 would still be the way to go. It's a huge site, so you could get tons of feedback there if you wrote in one of the popular fandoms. I know some of the old BtVS/AtS fans write primarily in other fandoms for the feedback high but will still post a BtVS fic now and then for old times' sake.
Okay, you've GOT to tell me about what's going on with people making money off of something you wrote! That sounds infuriating.
RE: Re: You’re HERE!
Date: 2021-11-15 04:45 am (UTC)The whole idea of writing again is intriguing. I really have very little faith in my abilities to come up with anything readable at this point. And I’m not sure that there’s anyone who’s out there hoping I do or who would remember who I was. There were things I really wanted to finish. I had quite a bit of A Price Above Rubies as well as an entire Spikecentric take on a Christmas Carol that I’d written for some holiday fic challenge that I lost when my computer died on Christmas Eve. I moved a few weeks later, switched jobs, was traveling some and between all of that and the BS going on in the fandom I just kind of cashed out. Almost no one I really enjoyed reading was still around.
The whole thing (on LJ anyway) just wasn’t the fun it used to be. Even the feedback high wasn’t very satisfying anymore. I still had a somewhat decent number of readers even though the fandom was dwindling. But they weren’t the people I used to interact with who were actual fans of the shows. It used to be that even those who weren’t writing themselves left insightful and thought provoking comments. And I loved interacting with them. But I started to realize that some of the newer people writing and pulling a lot of attention had never even watched the shows. They were literally writing fanfic of fanfic. And the people reading my stuff and commenting ALSO had never watched the shows.
I actually had a couple of incidents that kind of broke the camel’s back for me. First I had someone comment on a fic I wrote asking about a scene that happened between Angel and Fred. They wanted to know which episode it was in so they could use the same scene in a story they were writing. I told them that it wasn’t an actual scene from the show and it was something I had written myself. They actually basically called me a liar and said that if I was so selfish and jealous of them and their writing that I wouldn’t tell them where to find the scene I could have just said so instead of pretending I wrote it.
Not long after that I had someone directly email me and copy me on a story that they “wrote”. It was Word for Word one of my Spike/Angels fics just with Xander’s name everywhere I had used Angel. They didn’t even change anything that I had Angel saying or doing. They just made Xander the one saying and doing those things instead. Which of course makes no sense because the way Xander speaks or behaves is nothing like how Angel does. And anyway just changing a person’s name throughout a story doesn’t make it yours. They wanted to let me know that they planned to post it and that they would mention that I gave them the “idea” for it. Of course I said I was NOT okay with that. They then basically said that I wasn’t a nice person and that I was lucky they bothered to even tell me.
Then I really just started to notice that fic I was seeing wasn’t based on the show but on situations these people had read in other peoples fics. I was just like — I’m out!
Now I really just want to read some things because I’m feeling nostalgic. I started to read the first chapter of Touch tonight but had to stop to do a million things. I realized I never read the first chapter back when you posted it years ago! Where was I? Had I been kidnapped by aliens? This must have been some sort of mind wipe situation lol!
Also glad to hear you’re happy with your new place! Nothing better than that really!
Another fun fact about Arianna is that she actually writes things that people request of her for money. I actually have no idea where she does it. Children don’t tell their parents everything lol. But I think what she writes is mostly based on various anime fandoms. So she’s carrying the Banner forward!