70 Questions

[girlpire]

this is my entry in the 70 questions meme/ficathon thingy. the website is here:
http://www.moments-lost.co.uk/70q.html

the master list is here:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/nemo_gravis/100304.html

i did angel. (hee, i've always wanted to say that.)


70 Questions to Determine the Level of the Souled Vampire's Evilness, for the Peace of Mind of the Reformed Watchers' Council After Having Received News of his Recent Employment at the Law Firm Wolfram and Hart

To: watcher007@rwc.org
From: manpire@w&h_online.org
Subject: Re: Psych Evaluation
=====

G-
I've only been CEO here for a few days, but I filled out this questionnaire like you asked. I hope this proves to you that I am not evil.

1. DO YOU SNORE?
I only breathe when I'm angry.

2. ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
I'm a vampire. Love and violence kind of go hand in hand with us.

3. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
Finding out that it's all been for nothing. Cordelia on a bad hair day.

4. AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC?
I'm pretty sure that I wasn't.

5. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF "REALITY" TV?
I haven't watched television since Bananza went off the air.

6. DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
I don't use straws.

7. WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?
I have never been cute. Please amend any entry in the Watcher Diaries that indicates that I have been cute.

8. IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?
Kind of has to be. There's this whole curse thing... you know. But it in no way makes me a eunuch.

9. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
Black.

10. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
Mostly I hum. But yeah, for some reason, everyone complains if I sing anywhere else.

11. HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
I've jumped from some pretty high places, but never with a cord. I'm not trying to brag, but... I have.

12. ANY SECRET TALENTS?
I picked up whittling in Missoula. Figurines... nothing special. Cows mostly. When I have time.

13. WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
Used to be Tibet, but now? Probably Vegas.

14. IS JAY LENO FUNNY?
Not like Carson. He used to do this one bit with a turban... I'm telling you, the man could get a laugh out of anyone.

15. CAN YOU SWIM?
Yes. I think I have a pool, but I haven't used it. I don't really like going under water.

16. HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE "DONNIE DARKO"?
I've only seen one new movie in the last six years. Something French. It was... different.

17. DO YOU GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE OZONE?
I think there are things that need defending, whether or not they are important to me personally.

18. HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE ROLL POP?
I've never had one. And you know this is a weird question, right?

19. CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?
Probably. I have a photographic memory.

20. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?
I have a private jet now. And I think I own an airline.

21. ARE YOU AN ONLY CHILD?
I used to have a sister when I was human. Kathy. She was... very pretty. But Darla said she never sired anyone else, so as a vampire, yes I am an only childe.

22. DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENER?
I have an electric one. They tell me it's very high tech. I haven't actually figured out how to work it yet.

23. WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
I enjoy it. But I only kill things that are, you know, evil.

24. IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
I'd like to think... well, I mean... one day I might become... and if, you know, the right girl...
Probably not.

25. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I have very nice handwriting.

26. WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
Garlic. And beestings, but I don't know if that counts anymore.

27. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU"?
I'm not really very... I mean, I think my friends know without my having to say it.

28. IS ELVIS STILL ALIVE?
He lives in Argentina. Got a postcard yesterday.

29. DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?
The last one I went to was Elvis and Priscilla's, and I don't remember much about it. I was drunk. I just remember staring at the buffet table and wondering how they managed to shrink all the little peanut butter and banana sandwiches. They were tiny.

30. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
I don't really, you know, eat. I mean, I can... but I don't.

31. ARE BLONDES DUMB?
I don't think that would be a fair assumption. Unless you're talking about Spike.

32. WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?
Stuck to the top of the dryer. Try using Bounce dryer sheets. They're supposed to reduce static cling. I'm not convinced they actually do, but they make the clothes smell very fresh.

33. WHAT TIME IS IT?
4:36am

34. DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
It's just Angel.

35. IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?
I used to live near a family of McDonalds. They had a farm. I've never tried the fast food, though.

36. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR, AND WHO WERE YOU WITH?
I took my new Viper out tonight. I like to go for a drive by myself sometimes. But I wasn't brooding.

37. DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
Showers are better for cleaning off demon gunk. Sometimes I have a shower and then soak in the tub afterwards though. My suite came with all this bath salt stuff... it's nice.

38. IS SANTA CLAUS REAL?
Met him once. Didn't like him.

39. DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED?
I... well... this is kind of private, don't you think? I mean, sure, I like to be kissed as much as anybody, but... you know, privately.

40. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
I feel more comfortable in the dark. Plus I'm the dark avenger.

41. WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
You could say I have a blood habit. (That was a joke.)

42. CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?
Like I said, I don't really... crunchy, I guess.

43. CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK?
Yeah.

44. HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
I drove one once. I was drunk.

45. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY?
Twice, but just the human ones. Fangs are a little too sensitive for it.

46. IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
Yes. That's clever, the way it rhymes like that.

47. ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER?
I have a lot of... bad dreams. I don't sleep very well.

48. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
Brown? I think sometimes yellow too.

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
This is the life I've earned. I try to do good. I like helping people. But sometimes, there are things that can't be helped.

51. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS OR PIERCINGS?
Yes.

52. ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
No, but I know a guy.

53. HAVE YOU READ "CATCHER IN THE RYE"?
I read it one weekend in 1951 and thought J.D. Salinger was a genius. Then I read it again a couple of decades later and decided it's not really that great.

54. DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
No. I always wanted to learn guitar.

55. HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY?
I used to be evil.

56. CAN YOU SNOWBOARD?
Never tried it. I can iceskate though. Not like robot chipmunks on ice or anything, but I'm pretty good at hockey.

57. DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?
I do what I have to. I wouldn't say I like it, though.

58. DO YOU SNORT WHEN YOU LAUGH?
Cordy swears I do. But I don't laugh much.

59. DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?
Magic and blood are the two things that I never question.

60. ARE DOGS A MAN'S BEST FRIEND?
They can be. I sort of... think they're cute.

61. YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?
I run a law firm.

62. CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?
I don't dance. But yeah, I can. (This is just between us, right?)

63. DO YOU MAKE MANY MISTAKES?
Sometimes I think that's all I do.

64. IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY?
I only notice if it's raining. It wasn't.

65. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Mink. It's really not that bad.

66. DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH?
No. Well, just the clear kind. Nail care is important. I'm not gay.

67. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN KISSED?
Yes.

68. WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIAL?
I haven't seen the Wolfram and Hart ad yet, but I met the guy who did the voice over. I'm guessing that's the one.

69. DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?
I have a personal tailor. I think.

70. FAVORITE BAND AT THE MOMENT?
I'm a big fan of Manilow. Also, the Rat Pack. And Elvis. Cordelia made me a CD a while back, and that's really all I listen to. She called it "Monster Ballads." I think that's some kind of pop culture reference.

I have my reasons for accepting this job, but I'm not evil. Really.
-A

P.S. Some of these questions are a little strange. You should check your new staff for Fragsts.








.

Comments

[frimfram.livejournal.com]

So damn good!

63. DO YOU MAKE MANY MISTAKES?
Sometimes I think that's all I do.

::pets::

66. DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH?
No. Well, just the clear kind. Nail care is important. I'm not gay.

Write the "Spike and Angel do each other's nails, including toenails using those toe divider things girls have at sleepovers (slumber parties?)" fic!

35. IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?
I used to live near a family of McDonalds. They had a farm. I've never tried the fast food, though.

I heard they put evil hand in the burgers.

16. HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE "DONNIE DARKO"?
I've only seen one movie in the last fifteen years. Something French. It was... different.

But how does he know about Chow Yun Fat?

[girlpire.livejournal.com]

chow yun fat! i totally forgot! *headdesk* there's no chance he was in the banquet d'amelia, is there? and... and denzel washington? man, i have to change all of my answers now! or, like, that one.

[girlpire.livejournal.com]

and - AND - charlton heston! omega man! actually that's probably more than 15 years old... nevermind.

[frimfram.livejournal.com]

Ah, perhaps it's his advancing years that make him so forgetful. :)

[hellziggy.livejournal.com]

31. ARE BLONDES DUMB?
I don't think that would be a fair assumption. Unless you're talking about Spike.
*giggle*
Stop picking on my Spikey! :)

[girlpire.livejournal.com]

it's not me! it's totally angel. :D

[zinnydark.livejournal.com]

~loves you far too much for words~

22. DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENER?
I have an electric one. They tell me it's very high tech. I haven't actually figured out how to work it yet.

~falls over a little~

And being allergic to bee-stings? Too cute adorable for words!

[girlpire.livejournal.com]

hehe. i don't know if angel would actually admit to not being able to figure something out, but i thought it was funny. :)

my brother calls season 5 angel beesting!angel because he's puffy! which i think is very mean. but that's where i got the idea. :)

Variety is the spice of life!

[lirm35m.livejournal.com]

Its really interesting to see how different your Angel is from mine (I did Angel before I tackled Angelus)... the premise is kinda the same, but still having Cordy around and being much more mellow changes the whole tone...

Re: Variety is the spice of life!

[girlpire.livejournal.com]

i saw that someone else had already done angel, but i didn't read it because i didn't want my answers to be influenced. i'm off to read it now!

also, i didn't mean for it to sound like cordelia wasn't in a coma, because at this point she would have been. i think my angel is just in denial? :D

[naol.livejournal.com]

These fics are really fun because of the differences you can pick out in the way people see a character. I can really see these answers coming from Angel, the voice was spot-on. His special brand of awkward humor really comes through and I love Cordy threading through his answers.

3. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
Finding out that it's all been for nothing. Cordelia on a bad hair day.

Perfect *s*

Thanks for writing this :)

[girlpire.livejournal.com]

thank YOU for ... like, hosting the ... thing. or whatever. :D

i'm really glad you like my contribution.

[http://users.livejournal.com/woman_of_/]

Wonderful, loved it. So many made me give my *BG* face. No you really don't want to see that!

[girlpire.livejournal.com]

haha, i'm glad you liked it! :)

[lostakasha.livejournal.com]

35. IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?
I used to live near a family of McDonalds. They had a farm. I've never tried the fast food, though.

*snorfle* Very cute!

[girlpire.livejournal.com]

glad you think so. your two things like this are brilliant. :)

[renee2939.livejournal.com]

This entire piece was brilliant. I could hear Angel in these answers. Good job!

[girlpire.livejournal.com]

thank you! i'm really glad you thought it was in character. :D

[lillianmorgan.livejournal.com]

I have very nice handwriting.
Oh yes, you so do Angel. Among many other talents of course... :)
Finding out that it's all been for nothing. Cordelia on a bad hair day.
Oh! ::pets him a great deal::
You did a great job on this. Congrats!!! :)

[girlpire.livejournal.com]

lirm35m also did one from angel's pov - check it out here: http://www.livejournal.com/users/lirm35m/24195.html
read number 12! hehe, it's my favorite. :)

i'm very glad you liked my contribution. you should read some of the others on the master list. they're wonderful! i really like drusilla's allergies and favorite vacation places. :D

[lillianmorgan.livejournal.com]

Thanks for those! I will check them out :)
I was actually considering doing Darla for it, but I had trouble seeing her lasting the whole 70 questions. I think she'd rather eat the questioner ;)

[girlpire.livejournal.com]

yeah, i think the person who wrote illyria got a little tired of it too. she ends up saying "i am a godking. that's all you need to know" for most of them. but the question about the color of her keyboard? hilarious. :)

i think you could pull it off with darla! you could do her all moody and pregnant. i think she would have finished all the questions just to have someone to talk to. vulnerable and menacing at the same time. :)

[lillianmorgan.livejournal.com]

i think you could pull it off with darla! you could do her all moody and pregnant. i think she would have finished all the questions just to have someone to talk to. vulnerable and menacing at the same time. :)
Wow. You've got me all inspired now :) Thank you ::glumps you::

[lettered.livejournal.com]

I like your dork!Angel better than the writers' dork!Angel.

Some of his answers are very snappy and clever, and others are just completely socially inept; some are poignant, and others hint at the evil beneath. I loved this. A lot.

[girlpire.livejournal.com]

yay! thank you. :D

[fanbot.livejournal.com]

So very funny! Thanks for the laugh!

[girlpire.livejournal.com]

you are welcome! i'm glad you enjoyed. :)

[spankspike.livejournal.com]

Something else I've missed?!?!?!?!!!!

How did this happen?

Are you using that "hiding in plain sight" method to keeps things from me?

*consults Hodgins on latest conspiracy theories*

My two favorite questions -

39. DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED?
I... well... this is kind of private, don't you think? I mean, sure, I like to be kissed as much as anybody, but... you know, privately.

66. DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH?
No. Well, just the clear kind. Nail care is important. I'm not gay.

And he's right about the whole "not being gay" thing.

Unless of course we want him to be gay - like with Spike or maybe Riley (Lindsey too!). Then he's got to be gay. Because we rule the world.

What?

We do.

[girlpire.livejournal.com]

Because we rule the world. What? We do.

too bad the world doesn't know it, huh? :P

i've also hidden twenty-one other fics somewhere in my journal. like easter eggs. you get a prize if you find them all. (hint: they're listed on my sidebar.)

i just reread this piece, and i think i would fill it out completely differently now.

[spankspike.livejournal.com]

i've also hidden twenty-one other fics somewhere in my journal. like easter eggs. you get a prize if you find them all. (hint: they're listed on my sidebar.)

See, now you're mocking me. You may have thought I wouldn't notice - but I've got your number Miss Mocky McMockerson. I know what you're up to.

i just reread this piece, and i think i would fill it out completely differently now.

Then you should re-do it.

Now.

I'll wait.

PS - OMG!WTF!BBQ! Because you counted your fics and stuff, I counted mine. Did you know there were 80 things I've posted (not counting any individual chapters or anything)! And I thought I never found the time to write. Someone's been writing. No wonder some of that stuff is crap, I've been churning it out like dime store novels.

[girlpire.livejournal.com]

i might redo it one day when i have time.

i'm not surprised about the 80 fics! you're a fast writer. plus, you've been in the fandom longer. (haven't you?) also, you have a much dirtier mind than... anyone i've ever known... which leads to much dirty fic. :) have you ever written gen? have you? i didn't think so!

[spankspike.livejournal.com]

also, you have a much dirtier mind than... anyone i've ever known... which leads to much dirty fic.

Yay!!

*feels sense of smug satisfaction*

And I thought no one would ever notice. Don't I get a crown or something?

have you ever written gen? have you? i didn't think so!

*looks confused*

Why would I do that? You realize that my time is limited right? I mean really, after I'm done writing the dirty there's pretty much nothing left to say.

*wonders if there are fics that don't contain porn*

[girlpire.livejournal.com]

thanks so much! and no, i don't mind at all. :)

[bookstorequeer.livejournal.com]

*giggles* This was great! You had some really funny points, mixed in there with some great observations about the series and Angel in general. You're really talented about doing that, you know. Getting to the heart of it. I think your Angel is one of the... if I say 'softest' I've read, you'd know what I mean, right? I don't mean soft as in wimpy, I mean soft as in, gentle, sad, the one I'd probably prefer to meet, if I was going to meet a variation of Angel. I like him.

[girlpire.livejournal.com]

thank you! i try to write him as close to the way i see him in canon as possible... and i think sad and gentle are two words that would describe him pretty well. especially if he's just meeting someone for the first time. (like, he wouldn't be that way with someone like spike. or even cordelia.)

but to be honest, i'd like to meet any variation of angel. :D

if you want to read some INCREDIBLE angel fic, try looking at anything by thebratqueen. her angel is like, freakishly in character. WAY better than mine could ever hope to be. it's seriously amazing.

[girlpire.livejournal.com]

http://www.wtftbq.com/fanfic/angel/

go there. read "pet." seriously.

[chippedbathtub.livejournal.com]

HEE!

I love Angel so much. So so so much.

Once again, that was awesome!

[girlpire.livejournal.com]

thank you! i love angel too. he is officially my tv boyfriend. :D

[stars-inthe-sky.livejournal.com]

Hilarious from start to finish. Pretty much every question plus the email addresses for the win.

[girlpire.livejournal.com]

haha, thanks. :D

[samueljames]

Quite a few of these made me laugh esp these

31. ARE BLONDES DUMB?
I don't think that would be a fair assumption. Unless you're talking about Spike.

35. IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?
I used to live near a family of McDonalds. They had a farm. I've never tried the fast food, though.

36. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR, AND WHO WERE YOU WITH?
I took my new Viper out tonight. I like to go for a drive by myself sometimes. But I wasn't brooding.

37. DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
Showers are better for cleaning off demon gunk. Sometimes I have a shower and then soak in the tub afterwards though. My suite came with all this bath salt stuff... it's nice.

38. IS SANTA CLAUS REAL?
Met him once. Didn't like him.

[somanyfandoms.livejournal.com]

I read 51. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS OR PIERCINGS? Yes. and thought 'OMG where? where where where?

And then remembered Angel has that tattoo on his shoulder *facepalm*

[girlpire.livejournal.com]

haha! :P